2009 was a trying year for the Bush family. To us, this will be known as the year in which we brought a child into this world. A year ago I had no idea what that really meant. Honestly, tonight I still don't fully understand it. What I do know is that my wife and child are asleep in the rooms next door and that I'm sitting here worried about what 2010 will bring for them; for us.
For me, this year I found out what it feels like to be truly worried. So far, I've worried whether or not I would be a good father. I've worried about my wife's safety while delivering our son. Most of all though, I've worried about Hudson himself. The burden of responsibility for a child is huge. I wasn't prepared for the intense amount of worry that I would have for Hudson's well-being.
He's 4 months old now and I'm not sure I've slept a full 8 hours since that incredible day. It's not because I haven't been given the opportunity. I just find myself waking up at odd times in the night with an incredible urge to go check on him. I get up, sneak into his room, lean over his crib, and touch his head while making sure he's still breathing. Seriously, just typing that makes me want to stand up and repeat that sequence of actions. A father's calling to protect his family is that strong.
I have no idea what 2010 holds for us. I felt like I lost control of my environment in 2009. Really I was just hanging on for dear life. I didn't accomplish nearly what I had planned. That's okay though; everyone is alive and we're moving forward. Here's to 2010! I wish you all a blessed year.