Please beat your kids

The world as we know it is coming to an end.  Apparently Massachusetts thinks it should be illegal to spank your children.  This is what is freaking wrong with our country!  I see kids enough running around back talking their parents and raising enough hell as it is.  You want to know why they do that?  It's because they aren't scared.  If you take away a parent's right to whoop the living hell out of their children, then you take away their ability to scare their kids. 

I can't recall ever getting spanked personally.  I'm sure I was probably smacked a few times just to remind me who was the boss.  Here's what I do remember though; I remember my parents telling me that they would have no problems with doing so and hearing the stories from my friends of their father's belts.  That was enough to keep me straight.  It was FEAR that made me understand my parent's authority when I was growing up.  That's what kept me out of trouble and made me the person I am today.

Please don't let our lawmakers pass laws that encourage our youth to be a bunch of spoiled sissies.  If kids grow up without a backbone, then they'll act the same way as adults.  It can't be pleasant to see a 50 year old man throw a temper tantrum.  Just think about that.

Edit: Wow, I'm amazed at how much attention this post managed to bring. To read more of my thoughts on this, please read my follow up.

  • ninjarook

    oh my god your a freaking idiot. how can fear make people better?!? if you want peace what you do is you sit children down and talk with them and show them respect. you wouldnt beat your girlfriend for doing something you didnt like would you? well maybe YOU would being a fear loving violent sadomasochist that you are. i dont see how we can move forward if we’re still lowering ourselves so low as to beat little innocent creatures. honestly, whats your deal!!

  • brandon

    I have to say, someone with the name ninjarook shouldn’t be calling anyone else a freaking idiot.

    I think the purpose of this post probably isn’t that parents actually need to beat thier children. I think the real meaning is that you shouldn’t be one of those parents who keep thier children in check with idle threats. Threats not meaning physicial fear, but anything that a parent could use to keep thier kids in line. That could mean taking away a favorite toy, going to time out. Many times parents will threaten a child with these actions if they don’t stop acting out but then never follow through with them.

    This tells the child that it is okay to not listen to what the parent is telling them. A child has to be classically conditioned just like an animal does. A dog know when he goes outside instead of in the house he will get a treat. A child knows that when he is in Chucky Cheese and is screaming that he will be punished in some way for that. As long as the parent does it correctly the first couple of time while the child is testing his boudaries it won’t be required much after that. The child will know what will happen if they continue acting that way and will choose not to do it.

    There is a difference in spanking your child and beating your child. Time out or other forms of punishment probably work just about as well as spanking your child. The key is just to follow through with the punishment whatever you choose to use as a parent.

  • http://digitalbush.com josh

    @Brandon, I think that you got the point of my post. perfectly. It’s not necessarily about spanking your children, and more about showing them that you are the parent and that you are in control. At the same time, I don’t feel like the government should be able to take away that ability. As a parent, it is your responsibility to decide how to raise your children. I do feel that some kids need to be reprimanded with something physical because they might not respond to a “good talkin’ to”. It’s all circumstantial.

    @ninjarook, We’ve been moving forward as a country up to this point with parents having the ability to spank their children. In fact, I’d say that current generations of kids are a lot more disrespectful and a lot less mindful of authority than my generation and those before me.

    What’s my deal you ask? Well, my deal is that I think parents need to step up and raise their children right. If a parent has a kid that misbehaves and won’t respond to peaceful methods of discipline, then they should get after them with a belt. It won’t take too many spankings to make them think twice about what they are doing.

  • Lauren

    I don’t know what to say…I did not physically discipline my daughter while she was growing up and what I have ended up with is a disrespectful, nasty, selfish 18 year old who has beaten me up twice in the last 2 months. If she doesn’t get her way, she throws back her fist, punches, and kicks. Not only has it terribly hurt my feelings, but it has hurt me physically. I wish now I had spanked her as a child, as I was. I learned respect, fear, and love for my parents. I would never ever think of hurting my mother the way she has hurt me. I truly believe in “spare the rod, spoil the child now” when I was frightened by society to believe in it before.

  • Rus

    I couldn’t disagree with your post more.

    I was a rebellious child who used to push the envelope to see what I could get away with. For example, I ‘stole’ my aunt’s car to teach myself how to drive and would often sneak out to be with my friends. I didn’t do this because I was a bad seed; I was merely adventurous and a free spirit.

    To try to keep me in line, my stepfather whipped me often, bare-bottomed, with a paddle called the ‘El-Kabong’ that had handgrips carved into it, and a thick steel-ringed leather belt that left welts on the insides of my thighs. That was child abuse and I never forgave him nor talked to him after I left home at 17. In fact my mom divorced him several years later and he may be dead for all I know or care (I rather hope he is, so I guess I do care after all).

    My wife’s father beat her and her three siblings within inches of their lives in a systematic and brutal way that makes my stepfather look like Mr. Rogers. She has been in therapy for the last seven years and has spent two years in a psychiatric hospital because of depression and anger.

    I grew out of my rebellious phase and I now have my own business and have an 18-year-old daughter, on whom I have never laid a hand in anger. I have always treated her as a person of importance and as someone worthy of my respect even, especially, when she does something that I think may be harmful to her. She is an incredibly well-behaved young woman. And even though she sometimes does stuff with which I don’t agree, as any young adult will, she knows that if she gets too far down the wrong path she can always come home again (not that I expect she’ll choose the wrong path).

    It is my feeling that people who beat their children only perpetuate the cycle of violence in our world. Violence begets violence. Ignorance begets violence. I am all for the Massachusetts law (my home state, by the way) because there are a lot of ignorant and violent people out there and children shouldn’t be defenseless against their own parents.

  • Claudia and taylor

    You are all idiots!!! i only agree with ninjarook and rus so far. Who ever f***ing wrote this is probably some f***ing sick twisted crazy rapist who will be locked in jail someday for the longest day! if your child disobeys, the very worst you can do is yell. you dont want your child to fear you. We are children ourselves. we are only 12, and were pissed. We know our rights and this sick f*** is disgusting. My mom doesent hit me and i respect her more than anyone. my dad yelles occasionally, but hes never hit me and i respect him too.your child will disrespect you if you hit them and when they get older there going to be insaine drug dealers and try to kill you. My boyfriend is insainly abused, and hes now 16 and hes punched his mom a few times and hes already moving out. See what happens if you hit your kid? they hate you! f*** you to all you child abusers!!!!! i hope you f***ing burn!!! you ruin your child when you beat them!!!!

    Edited by Josh: If anyone is going to swear on my blog, it’s going to be me. So, watch your damn language.

  • http://lauraandbrandon.com brandon

    Paddle your kids, send them to time out, or take away toys. All of these things are negative reinforcement and all work about the same way. It comes down to how you as a parent choose to discipline your children. Don’t beat your kids if you don’t want to parent that way, but at least use some form of discipline so that they don’t end up out of control.

    In an ironic way Claudia and Taylor’s comment above is helping to prove the point of this post. What does it say about the parents of a 12 year old that let’s their child post profanity on a stranger’s blog. What does it say about their parents that she is 12 and has a boyfriend that is 16? There is zero chance that I would ever let my 12 year old daughter be dating. If in some dazed state of consciousness where I lost all touch with reality and did let my 12 year old daughter date, there is no way I would let her date someone that was 16.

    So many things come down to a lack of discipline and poor parenting which helps to prove the point of the original post.

  • http://www.brunodebarros.com Bruno De Barros

    Josh, I agree with you. I am 16, and I am in the position you were when you were a kid. I was never beaten (not that I can remind of), but my parents always had the command, and I never do anything to hurt them or disrespect them in anyway. I had kids in my school who complained about their dads beating them up. Like you, I got conscious of what could happen to me, and it’s natural for me now. Sometimes I wish I could talk back to my parents, to tell them how I feel about something they are doing that doesn’t please me. But I never do. I just get to the computer, and program some more. I know they are who tells the orders in the house. (And if my parents EVER want to punish me for anything, taking the computer from me, not allowing me to program… that alone makes me shiver x). In fact, I’d rather be spanked hard than have the computer taken from me.

    I agree, Brandon. The problem nowadays is that parents go “You won’t be able to play on your PS/XBOX/whatever the kids have” and then they never do it. So the kids misbehave once more. And once more they get away with it.

    And the number of cases we see nowadays of kids beating their parents or just ignoring them (heck the other day I saw on TV a 13 year old taking drugs at home, and when her mother came, she just punched her and slammed the door on her face) are increasing dramatically. Because parents say “we know how it hurt when it was done to us, so let’s not educate that way”, and they don’t educate at all…

    Just my opinion.

  • http://www.brunodebarros.com Bruno De Barros

    P.S. And like it did to you, Josh, it kept me out of any problems, vices, or sillinesses other teenagers have. Except for programming, I have no other addiction :).

  • courtbaby

    i am a mom and i know for a fact that your kids should not be hit or anything…let them be in controll…then you willl have no reason to be them they will have what they want and will always be happy…and yes my kids are way spoiled but i don’t beat them and they don’t cry

  • bala

    Courtbaby: Just think of how much better off your kids would be if you beat them, and you say they’re spoiled, kids can’t always get what they want and if they make a fuss about it, then beat them, beat them all across the whole house and then they will never be bad again if they don’t want to be hit

  • muhamad

    I think it’s ok to spank your children if they don’t listen, are disrespectful, but not with weapons. you don’t go using belts or rods or shoes. from my experience as a kid and parent, i would say take things away from them. they will learn respect when they learn to love you, so you make the punishes fair to the things they did wrong

  • DB

    I am all for beating your kids. Don’t kill them, just let them know who’s in charge. That’s the only way some of them ever listen.

  • lailai

    My mum never beat me. She let me think what I should do and not do. If I did what’s wrong, my mum will have a talk with me. I respect my parents.

  • cabledawg1981

    As a parent I finally understand why my parents did what they did by disciplining but, never to a point of child abuse. Kids today know the law to much and know their parents can’t do anything to them so they become disrespectful little punks to where you want to hit their kid for them. Now that is not to say all children grow up like that but, I believe every child is different on how they learn and some are fine with timeouts and talks like my daughter who has manners and is respectful of her elders but, some do need physical discipline because, that is how they learn.

  • The Republicrat

    well…I disagree with Josh and anyone else who agrees with him. I’m a kid, any my parents don’t really do that, and I’m still what you may call a “punk”, but my mom would never stand for, and doesn’t stand for, that kind of behavior. I think anyone who believes in that is either sick or a religious fanatic who should go to rehab. That’s you, josh.

  • The Republicrat

    bala, how would you feel if you had that happen to you? Don’t say how others should treat their kids, because your ideas are clearly based on opinion. Corporal punishment is never a good idea, even in extreme situations. In all cases of simple parent-to-child punishment, positive modeling and reinforcement is the best option; you can’t go wrong with it.

  • The Republicrat

    I think Rus has a good point. I mean, my mother’s father was really mean to her, and he regularly beat her. Now, she’s not depressed or anything like Russ’s wife, but I’m sure it still hurt her. He’s really nice now, because he doesn’t have any thirteen wild and crazy kids to look after, plus a pharmacy and a farm, so I see him as a really nice guy. So, talking for my mom, I guess how you were raised has a huge influence on how you raise your kids.

  • Mark

    My father used to beat me savagely when I was a child, often for sneaking food (we were more or less starved as children). You never knew what would provoke his rage. He used belts and even broomsticks and he hit hard enough to break them. His own mother physically tortured him even worse than he used to dish it out to us. I grew up to be a productive member of society who is socially maladjusted and incapable of loving or even trusting another person enough not to hurt me. I cannot abide being touched even to this day. I am on the straight and narrow, I always have been. I have no children of my own (nor am I married), but sometimes I see other people’s kids acting like little terrorists and the red urge to beat them fuzzes my brain. Maybe it’s best I never have kids.

  • I got

    I really don’t see anything wrong with his post. I don’t see anything wrong with spanking kids and and I am case worker that works with kids. Most of these kids have severe behavior problems. ODD and conduct disorder. These are not mental illnesses. I honestly think that some of the children that I work with need to get their ass kicked. There is a fine line between abuse and spanking. Spanking is not abuse. Children act much worse today than ever before because their parents don’t spank them. I would rather go to jail than to have my kids behave the way these kids do. God does say if you spare the rod you will spoil the child. I would rather obey God than to obey society.

  • ishwantpie

    Beat your kids. Rock on.

  • ishwantpie

    what’s hilarious is how i’m in parenting right now. lmfao.

  • Celine

    i am a 14 year old teenager, when i was a younger(under10) my dad used to beat me all the time to teach me if i do something wrong. i didn’t know the reason before but atleast i knew that there’s someting that i cannot do. compare to my spolied cousins i feel lucky, because i’m not a twisted selfish brat. but beating has a limit my dad never beat me anymore because he knew that i would actually hurt my feelings deep, so now that i know right and wrong he would choose to talk to me and correct me instead of beating i think this is the best way personally

  • Kianjai Huggan

    FEAR IS NOT RESPECT!

  • lawler

    Always a shock to learn that the world has so many opinions, eh?

    Brains take a long time to grow. Consensus is that the ability to properly understand cause and effect takes ~23 to 30 years. Of course, if you’re not already that old, you’ll deny that you’re impaired by being unable to see the long term implications of behaviour.

    if you haven’t taught your kids about the real shortcuts to success (which are anything but), there’s little chance that they’ll figure it out until it’s too late to do anything with the knowledge… cue parents warning kids.

    I think the big thing is to make sure they get to experience the joy of “no” and “he77 no!” over and over as toddlers/kids/adolescents. Because if they wait until they’re 30-something to come to grips with the big unexplored universe of No, they’ll be mighty sad tomatoes… and mess up a bunch of lives at the same time.

    My dad beat me periodically until I got big enough to scare him off. His dad was worse on him by a hundred-fold, and I pity the childhood of his dad’s dad. Must have involved scalping and branding irons, but then again he was an indian fighter around the time of the civil war.

    One day I found some letters, only to discover that the son of the indian fighter grew up to marry and live with two women who liked each other a lot. A whole lot, along with a cast of a dozen or so french beavers*, a small raft of white powder and enough hooch to float your cooch. In the midwest, no less.

    Wild parties circa 1920, until WW2 put an end to it, more or less. Fast forward to me remembering one of the women as a cranky old spinster (church going, fire and brimstone, no fun)in her 90s. You’d never have known without the letters. House was empty save for a bible, a cross and a cat.

    I’m guessing she died wishing she’d had more “no” in her life, but less violence.

    * yes, that’s EXACTLY what I meant. They had pelts in those days.

  • cameron

    I can’t sleep this evening after dinner with my father. Often something triggers a memory of my belt beatings. He jokes about it to this day as if it means nothing. The fear you are talking about made me spend my almost 30 years completely ruled by fear. It helped shape my passive aggressive behavoir which after some therapy I finally have some control(however reading your post tonight makes me want to throw a temper tantrum).

    The most intelligent, confident, loving, loyal, disciplined(as well as self) talented, loyal, tough as nails kids I know were never beaten. The reason is because their parents say do or dont do something and mean what they say. Whatever the punishment is the get it no matter what the circumstaces.

  • cameron

    I wasn’t done. All of the sissies I know were beaten. To this day when my father tells the story in. Front of people of how when I was little he told me he was gonna beat me everyday from here on out if I didn’t clean my room, I hate him. He and I will never havethe relationship that he wishes we had.

    So is that what you want? Do you want your kids to grow up with fear? To be scared of you? To hide first the cigarettes, then the beer, then the weed, cocain, sex….must I go on? Then one day when you are like my dad You tell the story as I mentioned and also spend every evening feeling like you are missing out on all of the thongs in your child’s life.

    It is disappointing that when Googling help for such an issue I come accross a post like this. You don’t remember your beating. I do. I am also 30 and still dealing with how it has affected my relationships and my ability to chase dreams.

  • Jeremy

    all of u guys who claim to be such pacifists are sad cases and sissies. i was raised in a household where discipline is top priority, it is true that there is a clear borderline between discipline and abuse however physical discipline is purely effective. i was one rotten kid and as a kid i used to play all sorts of pranks, steal, and even get into fights, but despite being beaten half to death and even being carried to the hospital at times (no joke) i appreciate everything my parents have done for me because im proud of where i stand today. physical discipline created fear in me for the time being but as you grow you begin to understand your parents actions more clearly and reflect upon how it makes you a different person. my parents havent touched me in years and the reason being is that the discipline ive endured before has made me a more sensible person. i am 19 now and ive made my parents proud. i witness children nowadays who whine and complain about not getting things i dream of getting and it makes me sick, parents need to change their methods and this may not apply to all children and families, however it is quite evident that the most well mannered and intelligent people ive endured are from well disciplined families.

  • Tom

    So, I saw this post and laughed at all the sniveling wussies who said not to paddle your child. I was paddled at home by my father who I respect and love more than any man on the face of the planet. I was paddled for doing things that were unacceptable by their standards. Not just for giggles and I felt I deserved it every time.

    Now, I had a daughter. I hadn’t spanked her in the first six years of her young life. Then, one day while were were out sledding, she did something that could have gotten her hurt or killed and I “yelled” at her. She had walked out in front of a car without looking both ways. We always tell our kids to look both ways twice before crossing a street.

    When I yelled at her, she actually got mad at me. This was due to my ineffective parenting up to this point. At that very moment my father’s discipline came to mind and I reached out and smacked her on the ass. Right after I yelled again and told her she broke the rules by not looking both ways and nearly got hurt and I walked her home by the hand. Once home, I made her sit in a timeout and refused to take her sledding the rest of the day.

    My daughter’s now 20 and looks both ways twice before crossing the street to this day. I asked her why she does this after reading this post and her reply was simple: “Because dad, those are the rules.”

    Keep coddling your kids and they’ll beat you up like one poster and all those morons you see on Springer. These also end up being the dregs of society who rape, murder and rob. These are people who had parents who gave them everything on a platter and when they had to do it themselves, they coudln’t. Keep telling yourselves that you shouldn’t discipline your kids and they’ll discipline you.